Factors Leading to Divorce
Finances
Personality Differences
Selfishness
Communication Problems
Authoritarianism
Differing Values
Grounds for Divorce:
Impotency
Adultery
Desertion for more than one year
Failure to provide the necessities of life
Habitual drunkenness
Conviction of a felony
Mental or physical cruelty
Legal separation three years in a row
Permanent incurable insanity
Effects of Divorce on the Children:
Preschoolers
Young Childhood
Older Children
Adolescence
Tasks for Children to Cope with Divorce:
Acknowledge separation
Disengage from parental conflict
Resolve to the loss of familiar parent relationships and routines
Resolve to not feel self-blame and guilt
Accept finality of divorce
Achieve realistic expectations for later relationships.
Kids' Views on Dating and Marriage
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? “Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.” - Lynnette, age 8 “On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.” - Martin, age 10 (wise beyond his years) WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR? “I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.” - Craig, age 9 WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? “When they're rich.” - Pam, age 7 “The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.” - Curt, age 7 “The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.” - Howard, age 8 IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? “It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.” - Mike, age 4 HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? “You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports and she should keep the chips and dip coming.” - Alan, age 10 “No person really decides before they grow up who they are going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.” - Kirsten, age 10 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED? “Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.” - Camille, age 10 “No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.” - Freddie, age 6 HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? “You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.” - Derrick, age 8 WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN~COMMON? “Both don't want any more kids.” - Lori, age 8 HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? “There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?” - unknown HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? “Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.” - Ricky, age 10
